Oh Anne

When people think of Prince Edward Island, one of the first thing that comes to mind is Anne of Green Gables, the 1908 novel by Lucy Maud Montgomery. In movies, television, and musicals, Anne has been portrayed as a feisty, opinionated, and properly improper; that is, she was more mischievous than seriously troublesome. Perhaps it’s worthy of note that there are a number of Islanders who are rather tired of being identified by a fictional character, especially when some of us never enjoyed the stories in the first place.

Satirical site, The Toast has a slightly take on our red-headed heroine, that warms the cockles of my heart.

MATTHEW: Well now, I don’t mean to seem uncharitable-like, but you see as how Marilla and me was expecting a boy.
ANNE: yeah well I expected to have an alabaster brow and raven tresses down to my tits by the time I turned fifteen but we don’t always get what we want, do we old man.

[MARILLA’s neighbor RACHEL LYNDE comes to call]
RACHEL: Well, Marilla. I can’t say I think she looks like much, but you always did know your own mind
ANNE [lights a cigarette]: funny I don’t recall asking you what you thought about a fucking thing

[MARILLA stands outside the bathroom door and knocks nervously]
MARILLA: Anne, are you all right? You’ve been in there for an hour. What are you doing in there?
ANNE [o/s]: I told you don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to

More slightly altered conversations on the page.

They have a few more posts about Anne, including a little femslash featuring Anne and her kindred spirit, Diana.

Oh, Anne, we hardly knew ye.


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