Proctologists Get no Respect

You wonder sometimes what draws medical professionals into a particular specialty. I’ve known a lot of young people who wanted to be pediatricians, cardiologists, or oncologists. These are the people who love children or perhaps been exposed to those with heart disease or want to cure cancer. However, I’ve never met a high school student who expressed a desire to be a proctologist

The more current terminology is Colorectal Surgeon, as they deal with all aspects of colon and rectal diseases including hemorrhoids, diverticular disease, colon screening, colon cancer, inflammatory bowel diseases, IBS, diarrhea, constipation to name a few.

They are also the specialists in all of health care who have the most embarrassed patients. In 2013 patients presented with the following items inserted in their rectums.

Pencil, pencils, shampoo bottle, cologne bottle, lotion jar, soda can, soda bottle, flashlight, bathtub stopper, shot glass (broken), sock, ice pack, end of curtain rod, remote control (patient states he was experiencing an itchy rectum and inserted it to scratch), vibrator, vibrator battery, cover of vibrator, tip of vibrator, “big purple dildo”, spoons and dildos (patient states he got drunk and passed out at girlfriends house, awoke with items in rectum), lighter, toy submarine, toothbrush holder, 2 halves of bar of soap, pool ball, lit bottle rocket; “it didn’t go well”.

Fun is fun, but caution is important.


Re-gifting is an art form.

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