Those Awkward Moments

We all have those awkward moments when we realize that some of the things we teach aren’t coming across exactly as we meant them to. Perhaps it’s when we read something with new realization and understand how the stories we believed are not what we thought.

Many of us were raised with simplified, often illustrated, bible stories to teach indoctrinate us in the word of God. The latest in this line of books is Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible  written by “Horus Gilgamesh” and illustrated by  “Agnes Tickheathen” (Agnostic Heathen). This is a fresh look on some of the Biblical tales that aren’t on the usual Sunday School curriculum.

From 1st Samuel 18: 25-27: how David won Saul’s daughter.

This wasn’t the first time foreskins came to the fore. Back in Exodus 4: 24-26, Moses was saved from God’s wrath when his mother snipped off his foreskin with a piece of flint.

And who can forget Isaiah 34: 2-7 when the land shall be bathed with the blood of men, goats, lambs, ram kidneys, bullocks, bulls, and of course, unicorns.

Then there is 2nd Kings 6:28-30, when the solution to famine is similar to Swift’s Modest Proposal: eat the children.

Then there’s the Last Supper, played out every Catholic Mass and in many protestant denominations.

Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible, the perfect gift for parents to introduce their children to the wonderful stories of the Bible.

via Hemant Mehta at The Friendly Atheist.

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4 Responses to Those Awkward Moments

  1. Rodrigo Q. Leonard says:

    “Once upon a time, fairy tales were awesome”. That’s the hook the storyteller uses to pull you in to A Tale Dark and Grimm. In the first few pages he gleefully warns us that the tales of the Grimm Brothers are not as tame as the stories we are familiar with today- they’re violent and bloody.

  2. silver price says:

    This fur-clad board book was absolutely perfect for my infant son’s first bible. It’s very soft and durable–perfect for baby’s little hands to manage. Tiny Bear’s Bible breaks down some of the Bible’s classic stories, whose messages will not be lost on your little one.The illustrations are very sweet, providing both classic biblical images, as well as a few appearances by Tiny Bear in his own little world.Tiny Bear’s Bible is available in either pink or blue, and since the bible stories are paraphrased, not lifted from any certain version of the Bible, there is no worry about whether or not there will be any conflict between Tiny Bear and your family’s translation of choice.At only eight months old, my son loves his Tiny Bear Bible so much that I’ve confidently purchased several more copies for friends who have recently added on to their families.

    • I can’t imagine a gift more offensive to many atheist parents, or indeed any non-christian families.

      I’m also pretty sure that the stories in Tiny Bear’s Bible will conflict with the actual stories in any translation of the Bible; a book filled with violent imagery and atrocities committed by this god directly and at his command.

  3. Coy M. Santos says:

    Based on the hit website, AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com (“painful, regrettable, horrifyingly awesome snaps of family bonding, you will laugh so hard that people in adjoining offices will ask what’s wrong with you”—Esquire), this full color book features never-before-seen photos and hilarious personal stories covering everything from uncomfortable moments with relatives, teen angst, sibling rivalry, and family vacations from hell. Cringe at the forced poses, bad hair, and matching outfits—all prompting us to look at our own families and celebrate the fact that we’re not alone. Nothing says awkward better than an uncomfortable family photograph!

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