Back to School Advice

It’s back to school time, and here’s a bit of time-tested advice for university and college students:

Socializing is an important part of the school experience, and I think this advice would be pertinent for anyone trying to make a positive impression.

How to Impress Girls at a Dance – Antonius Arena, Leges dansandi (1530)

“Furthermore never fart when you are dancing; grit your teeth and compel your arse to hold back the fart… Do not have a dripping nose and do not dribble at the mouth. No woman desires a man with rabies. And refrain from spitting before the maidens, because that makes one sick and even revolts the stomach. If you spit or blow your nose or sneeze, remember to turn your head away after the spasm; and remember not to wipe your nose with your fingers; do it properly with a white handkerchief. Do not eat either leeks or onions because they leave an unpleasant odour in the mouth.”

Of course, the morning after can be pretty rough, but there are techniques that can help prevent and/or cure that dreaded hangover.

How to Sober Up – The Booke of Pretty Conceits (1628)

“That one shall not be drunke. Drink the iuyce of Yerrow fasting, and ye shall not be drunke, for no drinke; and if you were drunke it will make you sober: or else take the marrow of porke fasting, and ye shall not be drunke; and if you be drunke annoint your privie members in vineger, and ye shall waxe sober.”

Lest instructors feel left out of the mix, here is advice for you from a well renowned institution:

How to Treat the Freshmen – Leipzig University Statute (1495)

“Statute Forbidding Any One to Annoy or Unduly Injure the Freshmen. Each and every one attached to this university is forbidden to offend with insult, torment, harass, drench with water or urine, throw on or defile with dust or any filth, mock by whistling, cry at them with a terrifying voice, or dare to molest in any way whatsoever physically or severely, any, who are called freshmen, in the market, streets, courts, colleges and living houses, or any place whatsoever, and particularly in the present college, when they have entered in order to matriculate or are leaving after matriculation.”

Sound advice.

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