Most guarantees are sort of wishy-washy things that play around with statistics and customer apathy to ensure the company doesn’t lose too much money. Even most automotive recalls don’t significantly impact the bottom line of the manufacturers.
Now however, we have a pair of his and her fragrances that promise to be 100% effective in their stated purpose. No, they aren’t promoting the type of sexual pseudo-attractants that characterize many perfumes (Axe comes to mind immediately). These perfumes, promoted by the Demeter Fragrance Library promise to protect you from Zombies.
Zombie for Him
So you’re a Zombie. Or you know a Zombie. And you might become a Zombie. Any way you slice and dice it, you’ll need different kinds of fragrance. Fragrances that can make the dead simply pass by without offending. Because only Demeter Fragrance Library could make a Zombie fragrance eminently wearable.
Zombie for Him: Think forest floor. Zombie for Him is a combination of dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss and earth. A definite must-have for any Man’s scent collection.
Zombie for Her
Zombie for Her: A slightly lighter version of the Men’s fragrance with a touch of Dregs from the bottom of the wine barrel for that feminine touch.
It’s not actually stated in the product description, but I can personally guarantee that these products will allow you to remain undetected by the undead. My guarantee to even broader than that hinted at by Demeter: while wearing this perfume you will not attract the attention of zombies, vampires, or werewolves.
100% safety from the undead. Guaranteed.