Witches 1 God 0

The American football play-offs continue. I am not much of a sports fan, but sometimes, athletes or sports stories bleed across into the non-sports news. This year, one of those stories has been Tim Tebow, the uber-religious quarterback for the Denver Broncos. He publicly thanks his god after every successful play, and of course, claims that he wins with the support of God. His celebratory prayer has created a new verb –  Tebowing.

Tebow Tebowing

In the game this past Saturday, the Broncos faced the New England Patriots, and lost 45-10. Not even close. One of the reasons for this victory was the support from Salem for the Patriots.

Salem Witches

Lorelei and fellow Salem sorceress Lori Bruno will conjure up some pigskin hocus pocus at noon today — which BTW, is Friday the 13th — to neutralize the Sports Illustrated cover curse for Brady and send some Pats-ical magic to Foxboro.

“I’m going to raise the energy of the universe and send out all the good mojo,” said Lorelei (nee Lori Stathopoulos). “Lori will call in the Angels.”

Sadly, the ladies won’t put any hexes on the God-fearin’ Broncos QB at today’s Circle — because that’s not their way — but they do believe Tebow has spent waaay too many Sundays down on one knee!

At the 10-minute ceremony at Crow Haven Corner, the city’s first witch shop, there will be an altar set up with a Brady puppet — sewn for the occasion by another local sorceress — and mojo bags filled with herbs and stones for every Patriots [team stats] player.

Lorelei said she will Tebow and chant the following: “Tom Brady will see what he needs to see, be where he needs to be and will take the Patriots to another victory.”

Given the outcome, it was obvious that the witches had more power than the Christian god.

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